Question of the Day

Question of the day: Do they make a Fentenyl patch (pain medication) for your heart?

So, here is the answer from my sweet sister:
Answer: wish they did sister...All of our hearts are hurting... it sucks :( I wish there was something to cure a broken heart. But I think we will always have a piece of our hearts missing you know?Call me if you need to sister. I love you!!

I found the question on the site of a little boy that passed away from cancer. Another loved one lost to this dreaded disease. However, I though the question was so appropriate. Dad used Fentenyl patches. I remember making sure we changed them when we should. I remember all the conversations with my sisters, calling them to make sure I changed it when I was supposed to. I remember all the pain that Dad was in. He was in a lot of pain. Over the last few days I've been reading over the journals we kept when Dad was alive. A lot of it is medical stuff, you know medicine times and what he ate. Some of the things he said to us. Some very funny conversations that make you laugh and smile and cry. But there is also a lot of references in there to how much pain he was in and it makes me realize how much better off he is in heaven so that is what I am trying to tell my heart but my mind and body still needs him here....................

Tonight after dance, I picked up one of Hannah's friends and she came home with us. Her parents were with their new doggie at the vet. Say prayers; not sure if Bella will make it through the night. Anyhow, when Don, Amber's Dad, arrived he asked me how I was doing. Don lost his Mom recently (before Dad passed away). He asked me if I was better. I told him I didn't think you ever "got over" it. He shared with me that he used to call his Mom every Sunday and now Sundays just feel weird. It told him I could relate. He said that every Easter he used to send his Mom an Easter Lily. This year she was not here to send one to. We are both in very similiar places right now.

I'm thinking about not closing this site but maybe going back to blogging on one of my other blogs. I want to write about Dad here but it feels weird to be writing on this blog because this is the blog we wrote on to keep you updated on how he was doing. And now, since he is Heaven we can't do that anymore. Don't worry, I'll let you know what I decide to do.

I also still haven't figured out the charity or hospital or some place to make a donation to every year on Dad's birthday. Something he felt passionate about. I know Family and being together so I thought about Habitat for Humanity and then I thought about the American Cancer Society but I am a little jaded because they didn't seem to help out much when I really needed it. I told them what stage we were at (the end) and they sent me all these books about treatments and how it impacts people and blah, blah, blah.......... Sisters, if you have a suggestion or my sweet Aunts if you have a suggestion then let me know. I need to hurry up. I could make a donation to Baylor Hospital but I would want it to go to a specific fund not just the general one. Cancer sucks and it just seems like with all the research we don't seem to be any closer to saving people. Every day, every minute you learn about how cancer impacts a family or someone you know. Why oh why can't we with all of the medical technology given to us figure these things out? Why do we have to continue to loose the ones we love? It just doesn't make sense.

So, I leave you with my question, do they make a pain patch for the heart? And if so, where do I get one?