Closure

Closure comes in many forms. For me, it has been this thing with Baylor Hospital or 6 Roberts. For some reason, every since Dad was discharged, I've wanted to back there to say thank you to the nurses and aides and hospital staff that took care of Dad and of us for that month back last fall.

I really wanted to get together with Lauren this weekend but I was madly cleaning out closets at my house and getting the kids ready for back to school. So, finally, tonight I finally met up with Lauren to catch up before she heads back to school for the fall. I told her that I'd been wanting to go up to the hospital and take some snacks to the people that took care of us, to say thanks and how about we meet at that place we sometimes ate at while Dad was in the hospital. So, she agreed and it was a go. She even stopped at Albertsons and picked up some cookies. Yeah, I love meeting up with my sisters. We met at Scalini's (double yum to those of you in the DFW area who have never eaten here.) Good food and conversation and catching up lead us to Starbucks, a very important stop in the taking care of Dad routine. This crazy self picture taken AT Starbucks....

Tonight, for me at least, it was about visiting all of those places one last time for all of the reasons that we visited them in the past, remembering silly things that were said and done and moving those memories to the side to help make room for new memories but to not ever forget what we've come through or what we've done.

Our final stop of my closure journey was 6 Roberts. Lauren drove but we parked in the same places and I insisted on walking up the ramp where the cars go just like I did all those nights when I'd come down to Baylor late at night to see Dad. I very rarely did elevators or stairs. They were too creepy to me. Dr. Orr was still at his office just like he was all those nights. So, although there were several things we did just the same there were many different things and I think in a way it was a way to nudge me in the direction of moving on and helping to close all those reasons why we had to come to Baylor in the first place.

The differences were apparent when we first got to the hospital, they are still working on construction of the inside of the lobby and you had to take a detour to get to the elevators to go up to the 6th floor. As we walked the detour we passed the patient elevators that took Dad up and down to his care and the sign for the "Emergency Room". Once we got on the floor we were greeted by the receptionist who helped me many a late night just by being there. We saw several familiar faces (Nora, the technician and Ann a nurse, and Mara the shift supervisor). They "remembered" us. It gave me an opportunity to catch up with them, to talk about Dad, to remember things we did and to tell them about Dad and how much longer he lived. And lived, he did. And on the floor of 6 Roberts were things that felt oh so familiar, the family room where we gathered and ate many meals, the lobby of the waiting room where we talked with hospice, the food room where we got lots of food and pudding for Dad, the nurses station, the coffee station, room 615, the big room where we could all feel at home with Dad and ALL of our stuff, the staff meeting room where I met with the chaplain, and SO, SO, much more. We took cookies and Starbucks coffee to them.

And, then we left, and headed downstairs to the restrooms and the over to the Atrium Market, another stop MANY nights on our journey for snacks and coffee and meals. I wanted to get some gum that I really liked from there. But guess what, they don't sell it anymore. So, instead we got some Odwalla Juice and I got a Coke to nurse that LOW blood sugar and the cokes weren't cold, as usual. And guess what else, who checked us out as we left the market? The same friendly lady, Ann who was so friendly and helpful to us the night Dad was in the emergency room and we needed some jello. And as we were leaving she said "we're open till 11:00 if you need anything else". To which I replied, "No we are LEAVING" to which she said "You are lucky, you are getting to leave." To which I thought "Are we?" because on one hand we aren't because that means that Dad is gone but on the other hand it means we are able to pick up the pieces and move on. That we are growing and healing and loving and helping each other. Thank you to my sister for being there for me and for going with me on this journey. Huge hugs to you! I must now say good night.