Memories

Not much is new at the Bailey household. Jill and Mark visited Mom on Saturday and went to Texas Motor Speedway Saturday evening. Me, well I forgot they were in town until it was too late to visit them. I was glad Jill got a good visit in with Mom.

Lauren is getting settled at her new apartment. The kids and I plan on visiting her later this summer after indoor soccer season is over and my scooter comes in (kidding guys, kidding). Matt headed down to Austin for one night and is flying back to Dallas this evening. Mom was ALONE for the first time in I'm not sure how many years. Well, I guess alone is not really true, she was there with Maggie, Laddie, Buddy and Bear. But no adult conversation or anything like that.

Matt is set to start school July 9th I believe. I am still working on getting the money he should have received when he turned 21 from his accident when he fell on a playground when he was younger. It is not much but it will fill in the gaps for school and gas and some other things.

I miss my sisters terribly. I miss getting to see them on a regular basis. I miss our conversations. I miss their help in figuring out the most important thing then and that was rest, coffee and survivial. I miss the help and the friendships we had so much of while we were taking care of dad. Yes, much of it was survival but it was more the fact that you knew someone always had your back. Now, I don't feel like that too much. To my sisters: I love you very much and I am so very proud of both of you. Life just takes us in different directions. We will become stronger and better because of this. I'm just having one of those boo hoo days where I sure could use some Mark made French Press or Lue or Jill's hot chocolate. Seriously.

And I'm in a reflective mood.......... soaking in all of the lasts with my family as it was a family then. The picture below was taken on one of the many porches of the condo last year in Colorado. Family. That will never change. Look at the smiles on every one's faces....... I think Dad is even wearing my sweatshirt.

It has almost been one year since the whole family took the trip to Colorado. Mom, Dad, Matt and Lauren stayed at our house the night before the flight. Dad's last real trip that did not include hospitals. I saw many signs then that he was really sick but I guess my heart chose to ignore them. I clearly remember as Jill and Lauren planned this trip Dad saying something like "they are acting like this is going to be my last vacation" and I wonder if he really knew that it might or could be? Here is a picture of Mom and Dad at the airport right before we boarded the flight............ happy times......... memories

And the Bailey kids (well I still think of them as kids) - not the most flattering picture of my sweet brother bear but remember it was like 6:00 in the morning. And at least we had Starbucks...........

And grand kids as they boarded the flight and helped Granddad with his luggage.

It will be the good memories that gets us through the rough times. It really has to be what does.

And another night where I have become one of those moms who treats her computer like a child instead of "being a parent". Good thing my "barked orders" appear to have been obeyed. Only time and a few steps downstairs will tell. I'm heading downstairs and right to bed. My heart and head aches way too much tonight.

Stephanie