October 18, 2007

What is the importance of this date? Well, one year ago on this date, I was sitting in my cube at my office and the phone rings and it's mom as she says "We are taking Dad to the emergency room." You know with calmness and all that like it was all going to be okay. I hung up and pondered do I leave RIGHT now, what to do, what do do. I got a hold of Lauren who was driving home for fall break to visit with Mom and Dad and head then to Austin to hang with her sister Jill and ride bikes and chill. Fall break, right? Little did we all three know that day that that would be the beginning of life in Bailey land as we knew it. I mean we all knew that Dad had cancer. That more than likely it wasn't good. But October 18th really changed our lives forever. I worked and left a little early that day. Kevin picked up and took care of the kids, I'm sure they had some type of activity that day but for the life to me I cannot remember. As I look back on last fall I don't remember much of the details, just motions and important things that had to be done.

Yesterday, October 18, 2008, was the kid's fall carnival at school. Last year I did not attend because I was heading to the hosptial, trying to decide how/if to let the kids go to the hospital, what to say, what to do. Thankfully, my mother-n-law helped us out and worked the times I had volunteered to work. This year, I tried very hard yesterday not to remember back to where I was a year ago but it was hard. I'm thankful for the busy day of soccer games at 11:00 and working the carnival at 1:00 and volleyball at 3:00 to distract me from those other memories. At 7:00 last night Hannah and I left the school. I didn't feel like I did that much but yet every muscle I think I had hurt to some degree.

Last night after the University of Texas game ended, I looked at the clock. The time was 10:30 pm. I asked Kevin if he knew what I was doing last year at this time. He said yes, at the hospital. I think about that time Lauren and I were roaming the halls, visiting the Atrium for Starbucks for the first time on this part of the journey. We were looking for something for Dad to eat. And, we were waiting ever so patiently for him to be transferred to a room.

So, I wonder, if these dates on the calendar will always hold these type of memories or as time fades will those dates change their meaning? Part of me hopes so and the other part is not sure what to think.