Halloween Reflections

Hippie girl and her Aunt ???

Spiderman and ????, Halloween 2007

Evening everyone. Tomorrow is Halloween. Are your costumes ready? I have to admit that I can relate to the feeling of this mom. Her loss is much different in that she recently lost her twins; however, to some degree I think that no matter what the loss to some extent we all experience some of the same feelings. I can relate to her words from one post on one of her recent blogs: "Halloween has been a little lost on me this year. I’m sure it seems lame but every time I think of Halloween, I think about the fact that right now, at this time last year…we conceived James and Jake." I can relate, last year at this time, I was running around with Jill and Lue, talking turns at the hospital, soaking in every minute. So, last year for Halloween the kids and I and Kevin after we trick or treated in our neighborhood went up to the hospital. Lauren and Jill had wigs to make Halloween as festive as it could be considering where we were. Dad was excited to see his babies. Dad even trick or treated out of the kids candy. We took two cars so I could stay and visit after Kevin went home with the kids. As usual Jill and Lauren almost had to drag me to and put me into my car to make me leave. I didn't want to miss anything.

I'm finding that I'm having a hard time doing much of anything right now this year because I'm thinking back as to where I was last year, reflecting. That's just it. So I'm not stuck in the past, I'm just not so sure how to move forward.

Warning, pictures of Dad in the hospital follows, so if you don't want to see, don't continue reading, they are not bad.

Here is Dad, Halloween 2007, checking out the pictures that we sent to his phone (his grandbabies in their costumes, I think in this picture Lauren was making that his screen saver. I never really saw him as looking this thin then. Funny how pictures change those memories. He wasn't mad he was focusing on whatever the girl in the costume was showing him.