Holidays, oh, the holidays....... traditions............. I can't help but think of the holidays in these ways: before dad had cancer, when dad had cancer, the holidays when he was still able to get around, the holiday when he wasn't and the holidays now that Dad is in heaven.
I survived this year, Thanksgiving, my first of many firsts. My sisters and mom and brother were all together. My hubby's family too.
I'm going through many of the motions this year. I'm thankful that I have my kids to have expectations and anticipations of the holidays. Otherwise, I'm not so sure that I would be able to move forward so well. Every thing I touch or see or do reminds me in some way of Dad. It is both good and bad. Like last night as I was putting the candy kisses on the countdown to Christmas for my kids I remembered doing the same thing last year. My big bag of stuff I would take to Mom and Dad's and sitting on mom and dad's bed and tying the candy kisses to each day and having dad watch me closely to make sure I did not sneak any candy. Oh, the memories. And those same memories growing up, me and Jill, taking the candy off to countdown to Christmas. And Christmas morning and cinnamon rolls and orange juice. Dad in his PJs and robe. Memories, precious precious memories. Lauren and I bought Mom two Hallmark speical ormaments for her tree this year. I bought one too. It is a clear frosted ornament and it says 2008 but it is titled memories.
I talked to Mom tonight. She put up the Christmas lights outside. All by herself. I'm hoping Matt helped her but if I was a betting person I would say probably not as much as he should have. She also got out her Christmas houses and put them on top of the piano. When I talked to her tonight I think they were going to work on the tree. I think the kids and I might go over soon to check out the lights and hang out with her for a bit. It is important to me to hold her up and love on her and spend time with her. I makes me very sad to know that she is all alone in this world. That her friend, her lover, her sounding board is gone. Basically now, all she has at the Bailey house is Maggie the doggie. Maggie is good listener, she understands when you are upset. She however gets a little distracted and all she wants to do is play. I'm hoping Maggie will soon have a new place to live with her real momma, my sister Lue.
I talked to Mom tonight. She put up the Christmas lights outside. All by herself. I'm hoping Matt helped her but if I was a betting person I would say probably not as much as he should have. She also got out her Christmas houses and put them on top of the piano. When I talked to her tonight I think they were going to work on the tree. I think the kids and I might go over soon to check out the lights and hang out with her for a bit. It is important to me to hold her up and love on her and spend time with her. I makes me very sad to know that she is all alone in this world. That her friend, her lover, her sounding board is gone. Basically now, all she has at the Bailey house is Maggie the doggie. Maggie is good listener, she understands when you are upset. She however gets a little distracted and all she wants to do is play. I'm hoping Maggie will soon have a new place to live with her real momma, my sister Lue.
Have pictures, those to come in another post.......
No comments:
Post a Comment