Reality & Changes

You know it hits you when you know you'll never see Dad walk into to a room again. I mean we know this but it is just really starting to sink in. He'll never come into the dining room and take his seat at head of the table. Or help fluff for a meal. It brings about so many questions as to what to do during these times. This year I think we will work on maybe maybe many new memories before hitting the old ones head on. Next year I might be better able to handle those.

I am home right now for lunch. I do not want to go back to the office. I feel blah today. It could have something to do with a high blood sugar due to a problem with equipment that I should've picked up on much earlier. I just didn't think it was that. My mind must be cloudy today.

You know the reality hits you when you call home to Mom and Dads. Or Mom calls for that matter. And the phone rings and rings and rings and rings and rings. Come on, I know you've been there. In the past, SOMEONE answered. Maybe it was me or Jill or Lauren or Dad or even Mom but someone answered. Phone answering does not seem to be said priority for one brother that we love very much. Seriously bubba, if you don't want an all points bullletin next time you are MIA, you might want to change a FEW things. And then the kicker, which I need to remind Mom about is that when that no one answers call notes comes on the line and says "Michael Bailey" is not available. The hard part is that it is Dad saying his name in his own voice. He is not available. That we get. We are almost working on accepting some of these changes.

There is a memory in Dad in almost everything I do from wiping off my glasses to using Burt's Bees Chapstick on my lips. Bittersweet.

Must go eat and check my sugar again to see where I stand and take something for this headache.

Hope you have a super Tuesday and if you are going to you have voted.

Stephanie