"good" morning

Lauren here
can't really say its a good morning, but it is another day.
The new nurses aide arrive here at 8am. She tried to call the house this morning, but I refused to get up off the couch to get the phone. So instead I had to wake up when the bark alarms went off at 8am.
I just finished helping clean up dad and put some smell good on him. Refreshed. He looks peaceful. He doesn't look like he is in pain or discomfort, that is good to say and good to see. He is relaxed. Dad's blood pressure has dropped some more. Mom has a hair appt at 10:30am and she is having trouble decide if it is right to go. Oh decisions, decisions, how we hate difficult decisions..

I'm gonna miss my Papa Bear. Jill and I went through lots of pictures last night. Tons of memories and happy times. I think it was almost therapeutic to just remember all of that, or for me.. hear about the stories. Laying in there with my head on a pillow just holding dad's hand makes me cry. It is so hard not to go in there and cry. But they aren't all sad tears. Tears of the past, present, and knowing that he will soon be no longer suffering. I love you Dad. I love you to the moon and back.

more later...