Take Two

The search for a new normal continues.......... Scene one, take two............

Last night a dear friend of mine called me and invited me to dinner. I quickly made arrangements for Hannah to be picked up from dance and I was off to meet her. It was a very odd experience. Once at the restuaraunt, I sat and stared at the menu, almost like I was overwhelmed just being there. I don't think that my friend even began to understand. It is almost like the breath is knocked out of you temporarily. She was just like "order!". Oh, the heartaches..............

Today, my head hurts, really, really bad. I'm thinking it is the start of a migraine. I am nauseous and feel awful. So, needless to say I am at home right now. I was up some of the night. I will spare you the details. I fell back asleep around 8:00 without calling my boss or telling my kids bye for school. I left the kids all up to Kevin, again. Can I tell you how much I love that man? And for work, I know I really need to get back in the swing of things but I'm having a really hard time doing so. It seems that my mind wanders a lot. At my desk, I still have a post it note at my desk from one of the many phone calls from Dad. It is written in black bold permanent marker and it says "CHECK BLOOD SUGAR...... call Dad." Oh, how I wish I could call and talk to him one more time........... to hear "what's up?" one more time. One day at at time, one day at at time.

We are all taking things one step at a time. I'm helping Mom with paperwork and phone calls. There is just so much to do. And, add to that all of the stuff in your personal lives that you did not take care of while Dad was sick. Seriously, the lists and lists of things to do. They never ever end.

Thankfully, we continue to be blessed along this journey. My mom's sweet cousin reminded us that God will provide for our family now. He will make a way. That is important to remember. Very generous people continue to lift us up and pray for us and support us and for that we are extremely grateful. My coworkers gave a donation to help the family. Two family members in Hayden's classes contributed. And, I just received $135.00 in gift cards to Wal-mart for mom and my family from Hayden's classmates and their families. I know Matt will be happy, food! Food! Food!

I have so much to update from the day of the services, the kind words people said and everything. I want to update it all before it goes from my memory. It is just not time just yet to do so.

I must be off to decide what I am going to do about my head hurting.......... my doctor has no appointments so that leaves me with CareNow. I'm not to thrilled with the idea of going anywhere right now. It is cold and windy outside. A perfect day to stay home and reflect and rest. Wish me luck with all of that.

Keep us close...........

Hugs, Stephanie