That panic...feeling not quite yourself?

Lauren here..

greetings...

I know what you mean sister... I do not think that I have come to the full realization that Dad is really gone. It seems like it didn't really happen, although you know good and well that it did. It is like when my car wouldn't turn over about a week ago. I sat there and was like well, now what do I do? You know what first came to my mind.. Call Dad. Crap. It hit me. I can't call him, what do I do... who do I call? I literally sat there for 5 minutes...thinking...

I find myself staring off into to space as well.. It is not that you are always thinking... you are really just mindlessly staring. You momentarily mentally check out. Someone can be talking to you.. and you are .. oh wait.. what did you say, sorry I was off in space. I can't even stand to sometimes be idle for very long..

Ever get just a panic feeling ... that has happened to me a few times.. I feel like my body is just shaky and I'm anxious .. etc.. etc.. And then I lost it. Cried.. a good cry. I really haven't done that much since Dad passed away...

Thought I might share a bit of how I have been feeling. But overall I am doing pretty ok..

love to all