No more hellos

Not sure if there is anyone out there still reading our little blog. But writing is therapy for me and so I'm going to continue to update for probably some time..........

You all know how Dad would call us on our cell phones with his cell phone to check in or tell us he needed us. Well, on Friday my cell phone did not work probably............ you could not get any of the buttons to work............. the number seven would just continusously dial. So I took it to the AT&T store to have them look at it and it would have been another $250 to get a new phone. So, I got the photos off my phone. And late Friday night my phone was working again. So strange. And, today, Sunday, part of Lauren's phone didn't work right either. Both really new phones. It just seems interesting that now that Dad is gone our phones are messing up.................... we don't need them to talk to him anymore....... he is here in our hearts and in our minds............... is that the message? Sorry, deep I know.................

I am an emotional mess. Dad took his final earthly journey last night around 5:45 pm. Seeing him be driven down the street and knowing he would never be again was so hard. After that, our family was there for us. My wonderful cousin Steve went to the store for dinner and bought the stuff for the goodie bags for Hadyen's party. My sweet cousin Amy was with me in my Daddy's room to help me straighten up. I was not sure how much to touch and how much to leave. Hospice could not come and get the bed until Monday. Part of me wanted it gone and part of me did not. Like I said I'm an emotional mess. Maybe I should've listed to my sister n law and called my doctor for meds. Everyone else gathered in the kitchen and they ordered pizza. I just really didn't want to be around anyone too much. I just sat in Mom and Dad's room and own and watched the entire movie Legally Blonde (a movie we used to put on at night so Dad could sleep). However, we did not watch the entire of anything pretty much. There was always sometihng to do or Dad would say Hey, Hey. It was weird to watch the entire movie. It was weird to have nothing to do. No medicine schedule to check.

Another irony is that the movie Legally Blonde 2 arrived in the mail from Netflix at my house (this was another movie Dad watched). It arrived on Friday. I know it is a coincidence but I am thinking it is another way I will cope.

Today the pastor came by and visited with us and we began to finalize our plans for Dad's celebration of his life. Lots of different ideas there. It is hard because we all have our own ideas on what we should do. We all need to find closure to this horrible thing. We all want to honor Dad. I'm sure we'll work it out.

I left Mom and Dad's today at 1:15 to go to Hayden's birthday party. I struggled with if I should stay or go. I am very glad I got to go. I think it was the right thing to do. I know Dad would have wanted me to go. But know the hard part is that we have to know what he would want us to do but I have to also think about being there and doing for my sisters and brother and Mom. Hayden's party was at the Incredible Pizza and I helped Hayden get like over 500 tickets. So he got a really cool prize. I am still at home and not sleeping but typing to all of you out there on this blog.

Must get to bed; lots to do tomorrow. Continue to keep us close.

Stephanie