Diagnosis: Exhaustion

Well, I took Hayden to the doctor, he has a mild bronchitis but nothing major. Got medicine.

The nurse came to see Dad today and talked with him and Lauren for a long time. She added a few new medicines to his routine. Hopefully, he'll take them without making frowny faces to us.

I called the nurse after Lauren texted me that she had left. That goodness for Caller ID because now I have her cell number. Probably not the proper chain of commands for contacting her but thankfully she does not mind and it is not a power that I abuse. I asked her some pretty pointed questions and she had some answers for me and had some good suggestions on how to word talking to dad. She promised that they would be here for us. She said that some of the issues is saying to Dad "Dad I need to do xxxx" instead we could say "Dad would it be okay with you if I sit here and work on xxxx. I will be right here with you but this is going to require total concentration. So, what can I get you before I start working on this? Matt will be right here with you and can get whatever you need while I am concentrating. Would that be okay with you?" This way it feels like he is still in control while the other way feels like we are taking control away. And, there are already so many things that he has lost control over since this happened to him. I asked her if she has seen any other family cases like this and she said that this was one of the extreme cases but we already knew that. Demanding? Yes! Manipulative? Yes......... Loving and worried? Yes too..............

So after much additional evaluation I have found out what is wrong with me: EXHAUSTION!Duh!

The nurse also told me that the symptoms of pure exhaustion can mimic that of flu like symptoms that when she worked the night shift that the nurses would sit in blankets because they had the chills........... ah, if I only would have talked to her today before I wasted 2 hours at my doctor. But at least I have peace of mind that I don't have any true germs that I can spread to my other family members.

Jill is back from Austin........ she told me that before this week (she was home from Monday until today) that since October 18th she has only spent 6 nights at home! Yikes! And, I know that she has been away to sales conference and to see Mark's family but there is NOTHING like sleeping in your own bed and seeing your animals and waking up and getting coffee out of your OWN kitchen. And the sad part of the reality of the conversation is something that I think we are all feeling..... is WE JUST want to stay home and not go back to Dads. We just want to be at our own house. I do get that sense of dread when I have to leave to come to Mom and Dad's not that I don't want to help but I just want my NORMAL back.

Lauren and Jill and Mom and Matt will hold down the watch tonight.

My Aunt Pam might be coming to see Dad tomorrow. I am off to call her and give her a report.

Kevin has left to go to Logan's and get yummy dinner. Take Out, although not the healthiest for me that is one of the other things I am thankful for these days.

Signing off for now.....

Stephanie