Trying to Keep my Cool!

Hello again everyone..... I am still at work. No updates from inside Camp Bailey. Sisters? I'm hoping that means you guys are so busy working on work and homework that you don't have time for an update?

All the pressures of work and "getting it all done" are about to make me spout off and same something really ugly to whoever I see next. No, that is not appropriate. Boy can I just see the comments in a performance appraisal for that one. So, my lips will stay sealed and instead I will do silly things like throw ice down the hall and laugh out loud. Laughter is really missing from our daily routine. I know that it does make me feel better at Dad's when he says something funny and we laugh ourselves to tears. Instead of laughing and looking at the joys in my everyday new reality, what I really want to do is make everyone hurt as much as I hurt on the inside. I am so jealous of all of those that have their daddies healthy. I want so much to listen to everyone go ON and ON about what seems to me so trivial (like how work is going or other nonsense), which really normally I would want to know. I just want you to understand my pain and relate to me somehow and tell me it is going to be okay when in reality you know it is going to hurt over and over for a long time. I so hope that makes sense.

I did go on a date lunch today with my hubby and NOT ONCE did we or I talk about my dad or how he was doing or scheduling or how much vacation I am not going to have. We talked about HIM and his clients and customers and it was such a nice breath of fresh air. I know I need to schedule some time to talk to someone professionally about all of this but seriously, do I have time?

I am off to get this work done so I can leave on time. Tuesday nights are homework nights at my house and Hannah has dance and I have a motherboard to return to Fry's. I know I should of done that while I was in Mesquite but I wanted to stay and visit with my Aunt Shirley instead of running errands. Who knows maybe we could of run them together. Kevin has tennis tonight too if the weather holds up. I have to actually look up the time of dance because I have forgotten what time it starts. Okay, I really have to go because now I'm crying and I am not up to answering "What's wrong" from random coworkers.

See you all soon!

Stephanie