Greetings here from Arkadoo...
I know how my sister feels now when she is away from dad for so long. It is very very hard. I just want to be home taking care of him, SEEING him. I just need help not feeling selfish for coming back to school. I don't want to feel that way, but I feel like my leaving left a huge burden on those left to take care of the Bailey household. I know that I am here to focus and take care of school, but it is hard knowing that all is not well back home. And I'm not just 45 minutes away or 15 minutes away. I am 4 hours away and it sucks.
TO my sisters or aunt or mother or any one for that matter...
please tell me when I need to come home. My professors.. and everyone are understanding of this situation and please don't feel like its necessary for me to stay here for 5 straight days.. it is so so so so hard. I'm trying to focus and take care of work, but its hard to not think about where you should be. My heart is telling me to be home, but my head is saying take care of things.. heart troops head... I want to be home this weekend Jill to help support you. I feel like you're taking on too much and I need to help you. Help me help you!
I miss my family and I miss my Papa
I love everyone. We are blessed.
lots of prayer and hugs and kisses
-lue
6 years ago
2 comments:
Hi, Arkadoo, I've started three responses to your post and erased all of them. I can't imagine the pain you and Steph feel "not being there" and you are truly missed. But, please, dear one, realize your health, your state of mind, everything, is so fragile right now and it's hard to decide to do anything other than care for your dad. But he did release you last night (I heard him) to stay at school this weekend. He knows you're having a hard time and how necessary it would be for you to try to get organized and back in the groove at school. Be assured that someone would call you immediately if you needed to get back to Mesquite. It would be wonderful if you could REALLY focus this weekend, get a plan going for your studies, and then feel very confident about coming home the next time. Not telling you what to do at all, that's why I was hesitant to write. But you did address the second paragraph to "my aunt," too...
I was with your dad last night a couple of hours and saw his "cranky/ugly" side rise up. To be honest, I wanted to slap him. Jill and Shannon were the brunt(sp)of his ugliness and I felt for them. If I was in his situation I'd be ugly, too. Just know he probaly hates that he sounds that way.
I have lots in my heart and just know I'm praying for you. And we are blessed to have such a wonderful, caring, loving family. Not all are.
auntshirley
I'm responding to my response b/c I read it and the "I wanted to slap him" sounds horrible! It was only for a split second I felt that way. I have such immense sympathy for him and only felt that way b/c of the way I know Jill and Shannon were feeling at the moment.
I did talk to him and he just said he felt like decisions are being made without him. Although he IS being included, etc., he seems to not remember. I told him that no one would purposely lie to him and if someone tells him "you did say this" and he says "I don't remember" that he should trust that he was told the truth, that no one is trying to pull the wool over his eyes. I do believe he understands that. It's the whole issue of losing control and it must feel awful.
This is the hardest time for all of you and I feel your pain but not near as much as you do.
love you lots
auntshirley
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